Baby Math
by AaCcEeYy
Summary: "So, Sasuke, you used to talk about it a lot, but... How exactly are you planning on restoring your clan?" Short, slightly insane story.


Naruto sat happily at his usual stool at Ichiraku, noisily slurping up the delicious bowl of mouth-watering beef ramen sitting in front of him. Holding his face over the steaming broth, he breathed in deeply, letting out the air with a large, satisfied sigh. He grinned at Teuchi.

"Ah, you really outdid yourself this time, old man!"

He smiled back and winked. "Heard you just got back from a tough mission. This one's on the house."

"Really!?" Naruto exclaimed, looking up in shock. "YES!" He flung his arms up in the air victoriously, almost knocking over his bowl. "Oops," he chuckled embarrassedly. "That woulda been bad."

It had been a good day. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and he had just gotten a day off from Granny Tsunade after a particularly difficult mission. To top it off, he didn't have to spend the last of the money in his froggy pouch, thanks to old man Teuchi. Nope, nothing was getting him down.

"Yo, teme!" Naruto shouted, seeing Sasuke saunter up the path.

Waving him over, he watched as the Uchiha boy wordlessly took the seat next to him.

"Yo!" the blonde greeted, whacking him on the back with a beaming grin. "You're looking ugly as ever on this fine, fine day!"

Slightly wincing at the painful whack, he rolled his eyes. "Dobe."

The orange-clad boy continued to eat in silence as Sasuke ordered his usual bowl, silently laughing in glee to himself as he noticed the old man didn't offer it for free, even though he had attended the same exact mission.

Well, not _everyone_ was as special of a customer as he was.

Looking inquisitively at his best friend's private joy session, Sasuke sighed, realizing he probably didn't want to know anyway.

They chatted a little, talking about random things and bickering while they ate. This mission, that mission. Training methods. Different opponents. All kinds of things. It was then that Naruto brought up a rather peculiar subject.

"So, teme," he said, his voice muffled as he slurped down the rest of his soup. Setting the bowl down, he continued. "I've been wondering. You used to talk about it all the time, but how are you planning on restoring this clan of yours?" He wiggles his eyebrows mischievously. "I don't suppose you're gonna propose to Sakura and knock her up anytime soon, eh? Eh?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Shut up, idiot." Setting his chin on his hand, his face took over a more thoughtful expression as he stared at the counter. "I've been thinking though."

"Ooh, big surprise."

Ignoring the snide comment, he proceeded. "I mean, say I _do_ marry Sakura and start a family. That would only guarantee me one Uchiha baby every... one or two years. Additionally, there is a limit to how many children she can give me. I'll probably end up with, at most, five or six."

Naruto squinted his eyes and nodded thoughtfully. "Yeah... I don't really see where you're going with this."

"I'm just saying, wouldn't restoring my clan be more effective if I were to impregnate, say, two women at the same time? That would be twice the amount of clan members restored at one time." He turned his head to look at his friend. "And if I were to impregnate five women at the same time, that would be _five_ times as many clan members restored. And ten women impregnated? If each of them have five kids, that would be fifty right there."

Naruto nodded slowly, his confusion clearing. "Oh, that makes sense! I totally see what you're saying."

A moment of silence passed before the weight of Sasuke's words really settled in Naruto's mind.

"WAIT, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT YOU IDIOT!?" He stood up in anger in disbelief. "You're saying you're just gonna go around the village sleeping with all the ladies just so you can restore your clan a little faster!?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Yeah?"

"W-what about Sakura-chan?" he stuttered. "You think she's just gonna let you do this?"

He paused, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, then looked back up. "I think she'll understand."

"YOU PERVERTED LITTLE ASSHOLE!"

Ignoring the blonde's outburst, the dark-haired boy began to stand up. "Well, gotta go. See ya." He nodded at Teuchi. "Mine's on him."

"WAIT, I AM NOT DONE WITH YOU, YOU BASTARD—"

Sasuke continued to walk along the path, leaving the furious Naruto at the ramen stand to fumble for money.

"Oi, Naruto!" he called back.

"WHAT!?" Naruto yelled, seething in anger.

"Do you know where I can find Hinata?"

"OH NO YOU DON'T, BASTARD!"

* * *

**A/N: Hehehe... Well that was just a short little story I thought up. It really makes you wonder what Sasuke thinks when he talks about restoring his clan. I mean, he has to find some girl to start a family with, and he seems to hate just about all of them (I hope it's Sakura, just my opinion!). Well, hope you liked it! :) PLEASE REVIEW!**


End file.
